The Money Machine

Is your country in the shit? Do you have huge foreign debts and frighteningly high unemployment? Is the World Bank knocking on your door? Perhaps you need to adopt the revolutionary fiscal policy of 'President' Robert Mugabe, economics extraordinaire:

PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe said yesterday his Government would print money as Zimbabwe's deepening economic crisis drove inflation to the highest levels in the world and unemployment climbed over 70per cent.

Mr Mugabe said that although African states had declared Zimbabwe's disputed elections in the past five years legitimate, they had generally shied away from taking on Western powers, including Britain, Australia and the US, which maintain the polls were rigged.

"None of them will stand up and say to them 'Go to hell'," he said. "We shrink in asserting our rights. We need much more courage in the African Union."

An estimated 80per cent of the country's 12.5million people are living in poverty.

I'm just angry that I didn't think of the idea. Oh wait. I did - when I was in primary school. Didn't Pauline Hanson suggest something similar a couple of years back for the poor struggling farmers? And who says intelligent life is dying out on Earth?

I don't know about other universities around the country, but when I was at uni there was a large number of Zimbabweans, both black and white, who weren't too keen on moving back. This mass emigration is what you would call 'fleeing a sinking ship'.

Good luck Zimbabwe.