Beers and Census
One dolalr beers. Four dollar fifty jugs. Who can refuse that? I'm only human. And we beat this annoying pom in pool and won a jug of beer. Good night. The ten-dollar kebab was a bit steep though.
In other news, none of you fools put "Jedi" down as your religion in the census tonight. When you do this, it appears that there are less non-relgious people in Australia, and that reflects poorly on our great nation. If you are going to put down a made-up religion (oppose to all those non made-up religions out there), then write down you're a proud member of the Church of Engels. I have a hot tip from a certain L. Ron Hubbard that religion is a great way to make cash.
I'll fill you in with the beliefs and all that stuff later.
In other news, none of you fools put "Jedi" down as your religion in the census tonight. When you do this, it appears that there are less non-relgious people in Australia, and that reflects poorly on our great nation. If you are going to put down a made-up religion (oppose to all those non made-up religions out there), then write down you're a proud member of the Church of Engels. I have a hot tip from a certain L. Ron Hubbard that religion is a great way to make cash.
I'll fill you in with the beliefs and all that stuff later.
posted by Engels at 9:58 am
8 Comments:
It should be
"What religion are you?
then
"No really. We're not talking about whether you go to church for funerals and wedding, we're asking beliefs here man!"
And what precisely does the Church of Engels preach? I bet it's plagarised from the "
First Amalgamated Church of the Holy Order of PMA and the Latter Day Saints and Prophets".
I was informed by a couple of lads from the ABS that it usually ranks second in the world (after Canada usually) among government statistical bodies.
Well, the COE believes strong that considerable amounts of cash should be sent to Engels on a monthly basis. This to help purify your soul or something.
I'll get back to you with some more rules, just start sending the cash now, mmmkay...
$4.50 jugs of beer? $1 beers? That's 39p... !!??
Finally, i miss oztraya
Erm.... it could be just my QLD-census is extra special and rockz all over your mexican version, or maybe its my outstanding reading skillz (and flamboyant use of the letter Z), but my census had the following options:
what religion are you:
a) catholicz (ahahahah)
b) jewz (ahahahaha, nice hat)
c) muslimz (we'll be seeing you shortly)
d) ... some other ones not as interesting, but no less crazy i'm sure
z) none
So, erm... i just ticked the "none" box, and damned myself to an eternity of hanging out in the various hells associated with the a->y) options. Luckily for me, i've read somewhere that the devil ain't really that much to be worried about regardless....
So, all you godless heathen bastards can tick the appropriate box ("z) none, and i will go to hell for it"), correctly represented and totally unhindered by any guilt that you might be inappropriately jigging the numbers because you were forced to tick a religion even though you dont follow one.
P.S. if you DONT follow one, you should have written Jedi, you fools.... us Jedis get chicks.
P.P.S. I understand the Church Of Engels is a schism of the BoML (Brotherhood of Male Liberation... i reckon we should add the word "Army" in there somewhere as well...), but instead of the usual catchcry "Chicks are Fucked", its been twisted and perverted into "Chicks WOULD be fucked... but i am too scared of them, and tend to run in the other direction when they show any interest in me".
Yeah, I'm going the non-religion part but I really wanted to tick a godless heathen box.
True. The COE is an offshoot of the BOML which has historically had close ties to the CAF club. But don't tell anyone. They can hear you...
The beers are only Geelong bittter...
I'm off my cunt. Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha.....
apparently I was drunk last night.... fark, can't remember doing that. Why the hell would i browse Engel's Empire while I'm drunk?
Simple. You wuuuvve me.
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