OR at the AWB

Operations research is effectively a branch of mathematics that uses various techniques in order to optimise systems (ie reduce cost, increase efficiency) in various areas including business and logistics. I just received this e-mail from an OR lecturer:

Dear Maths & Stats Students,

Announcing an exciting event: an industry guest lecture to be held in the final class of Applied Operations Research for the semester!

This is an invitation to any students in the Department who are interested: you are welcome to come along, although having some Operations Research background would be helpful.

Find out how the techniques of Operations Research are helping AWB get the best possible result for Australian farmers!

Helping AWB, eh? I can just imagine the lecture now:

We at the AWB decided to develop a new mathematical model to maximise our profits. Effectively, we chose to model the current world wheat trade with a well-established gravity model. Ensuring this, we then promptly paid off a corrupt Middle-Eastern dictator via a Jordian trucking company. Ergo, a handsome profit indeed. Isn't OR fun, boys and girls?

If I was the AWB, I'd be seeking help from the law school for when the Canadian and American wheat farmers decide to sue them.

Seriously. This must be satire. Well, at least they're hiring maths grads.